How to Parent From A Distance in 2019 | Long Distance Parenting

 

Divorce, separation, and work mean that many parents don’t get to see and hug their kids as much as they would like to. Whatever the reason, long-distance parenting results in many new challenges, above and beyond those that come with divorce. If you can’t move closer to your children, there are still lots of ways to stay involved but you must know How to Parent From A Distance.

Show your ex-partner you appreciate their help in keeping up in contact with your kids — no matter how little this may seem at times.

How can I stay in Touch?

Knowing how and when you will next be in contact gives you all something to look forward to.

If you do most of the parenting you can help by:

• Encouraging their other parent’s involvement by helping the child mail drawings or letters.
• Arranging for the children to be at home when they are expecting a phone call from their other parent.
• Preparing them for when they are with their other parent.
• Implementing and following a parenting checklist

• Phone Calls

  Plan what you want to say before you ring. Arrange for your children to be able to ring you:

  • Organize a phone card or reverse charge number so your child can contact you when they want to.
  • Some mobile phone plans can limit the amount of time available. You can get phones to receive calls only, or program them just to call your number.

  How to Parent From A Distance

  Activities you can share over the phone:

  • Bedtime stories.
  • Keeping up with sports results.
  • Watching the same TV show, movie, or reading the same book to discuss later.
  • Planning your next visit together.

  

  Long Distance Parenting

  Think low budget:

  • Email and letters are cheaper than phone calls.
  • Small personal presents cost less and are more meaningful than expensive trendy items.
  • Find a phone plan to suit you. Some mobile deals allow free time at night or free texts. There are even prepaid yearly plans for unlimited calls and texts across Australia.
  • Text messages are cheap, fast and good fun.

  Above all – Listen to your children when they do call.

  Do things that are interesting to you too. Letters don’t need to be very long. Write a few lines each day and post them at the end of the week.

  Email and Internet

  If you have access to a computer, emails are cheaper than phone calls and more direct than letters. There are many free chat services, or you can go on a virtual tour together through websites like NASA and Questacon. Try a visit to sites like ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) or Disneyland with your kids. Send them a joke.

  Email and internet may be available at the local library, school or community centre, or ask a friend if you can use their machine.

  Audio and videotapes (great for younger children)

  • Borrow a storybook from the library and record a tape of a bedtime story. Your child can get the same book from their library and listen to the tape you’ve sent.
  • Tape good luck messages for important events such as sports days and exams. Your child will treasure them.
  • Tape a special episode of their favourite TV program. Send it with a letter about how much you enjoyed watching it ‘with’ them.
  • Make a video or photo story of your day at work or at home.
  • Get someone to video your child playing sport and send it to you.
  • Send blank USB Drives for them to make copies of school concerts and other special occasions.
  • Ask them if they can borrow a video camera and make a home movie for you.

  Warn your children about the dangers of chatting with strangers.

  Getting your kids to Reply & Keeping in Touch

  Sometimes you may feel that you do all the work. Children don’t always reply but they will value your contact and the efforts you have made.

  Be patient and don’t expect too much. After all, you are doing it for them. Treat anything you get back as a bonus.

  Try sending your children:

  • Their own special stationery for them to use.
  • Self-addressed and stamped envelopes.
  • Pre-paid Australia Post envelopes for them to send small items.
  • Craft items, such as pens and paper for them to draw something for you.
  • Blank tapes with post packs and stamps ready for mailing back.
  • A disposable camera. Get them to send it back to you for processing their photos.
  • Let them know you would love to get one of their drawings, a photo of them or a copy of their latest schoolwork.

  Other ideas

  • Keep a pet (fish aren’t too demanding), or even a plant, that you can choose and care for ‘together’. Send a photo or email update.
  • Run your own footy tipping competition.
  • Offer to buy fundraising items sold through the school, sponsor 40 Hour Famine etc.
  • Sell raffle tickets for your child’s sports team or school.

  Keep up extended family connections by writing a family history together:

  • Make a list of relatives to contact and plan what sort of information to gather.
  • Look on the Internet for information about family trees.
  • Share information with your children about your cultural heritage.

  It’s never easy to keep in touch over a long distance but when it comes to the special bond of a parent and their child then the effort is well worthwhile. Don’t give up!

Article Source: Long distance parenting

Co-parenting time with your children – The importance of parental communication

 

Watching them break down a relationship between parents can be very tough for a kid. Many co-parents don’t appreciate that their conflict may have adverse psychological effects on children. Co-parenting in Australia is about improving the lives, personal situation, and big changes that affect their future. Rules, living environments, and many other circumstances can change wildly and very quickly. It can be deceptively complex to set up the right plan during a separation. This article helps to outline the key issues you should consider when forming your co-parenting Australia plan.

What are the adverse effects on a child after the parent’s divorce?

There are various adverse effects that a child may face after parents split, and these will vary from case to case.

•  Anxiety: After the split-up of parents most kids face some element of anxiety issues. Many react by thinking that as their parents are separated and their family has been divided into ‘halves’, then they will also get separated (or split) from the rest of their family. They also get anxious about not being loved that much by one or both parents. Many will describe their situation as not having a happy family.
• Constant stress: Most parents don’t understand the impact on how responsibilities change and this stress may lead to insecurity.
• Mood swings and irritability: Worryingly, some children become more irritable for a period after their parents’ divorce. Likewise, both parents may also experience irritability and this adds to the stress of the moment.
• Anti-social behaviour: The changing circumstances can take up time and result in new and old friendships changing. This can result in a child thinking it’s all too hard to go out and make friends. Encourage sports or other interests.
• Troubled relationships: As they may become less confident in their situations, they may start having difficulty bonding with peers and friends.
• Susceptibility to substance abuse: It is a statistical fact that trauma can lead to increased susceptibility to substance abuse.
• Educational delays: Mental stress can reflect in school results as well as an inability to concentrate.

Why is positive communication needed between parents after divorce?

Two people alone can decide on the impact of their actions. They can choose to minimise the impact or to increase it unnecessarily. People that opt to communicate positively about the other party and the situation (this includes discussions with children directly), or just as easily can talk negatively and create more confrontation.  This includes any settlement negotiations.

The fact is, if you want to minimise any adverse effect on kids, then before, during and after divorce or separation you need to be in a positive frame of mind to effectively raise your kids in a healthy environment. Your kids should never feel the absence of any of their parents or their ‘family unit’. Connections are critical. If you stay in contact and communicate well with your co-parent (keeping your differences aside for the sake of the children), then you can give them the best chance. Don’t forget to seek professional counselling or advice for yourself or your children and speak with your GP for more help.

What are the benefits of positive communications between parents after separation & divorce?

If a parent is communicating well and devoting time to their kids after splitting, then there are many positive short and long term benefits that can be realised.

• A happy parent raises a happy child.
• Double parenting-power.
• Quality time, over quantity time.
• Kids learn from their mistakes.
• Put the focus back on the kids, not on relationship drama.
• Everyone can move on.

Seek professional help…

They may not understand the complexities of life in full just yet, but our children are a critical part of our life and they need both a fathers’ and a mothers’ attention, devotion and love. Working out a co-parenting Australia plan is more straightforward when the separation is amicable. Split Easy makes the process easy through an online platform, that asks some simple questions so you can achieve the right balance for everyone.

Article Source: Child Support